Aaron Engelsrud

Mindfulness Journal - April 11, 2021 - Day 13 of 365 I was able to keep my meditation practice on point today and gained some solid understanding from the process. Today I added in the concept of understanding my meditation practice’s intended outcome and who I am aiming to benefit from this work. This understanding is essential as it expands the importance and necessity of this process as I am no longer doing it solely for my benefit. Others will profit from my effort. Through this process, I can improve the lives of those I love and care about.

I am enjoying this process.

Mindfulness Journal - April 10, 2021 - Day 12 of 365 I was up early this morning and able to meditate in a quiet house. Today’s focus was on identifying why I am working on mindfulness as a practice. What am I hoping to gain from the time I am spending in meditation? I’m sure everyone’s answer to this question is a little different. For me, the answer lies in finding a way to be more confident, more present, and better able to deal with daily life stress. Anxiety and worry have always been issues for me. Finding ways to deal with these stressors more productively would be a significant improvement. Meditation and mindfulness are one way I can attack this problem.

Mindfulness Journal - April 9, 2021 - Day 11 of 365 Today was a good day. I had a medical procedure (a spinal injection for low-back pain) and found myself a bit anxious. I used my breathing focus to find calm and let my anxiety pass. A great application of mindfulness that helped me a lot.

Mindfulness Journal - April 8, 2021 - Day 10 of 365 Today’s meditation focused on working to gain an understanding of what types of thoughts cause you the most distraction. What are the ideas that you find the most difficult to let go of? Typically I find that the most challenging thoughts for me are all the things I have yet to accomplish. I get caught up thinking about the next thing I need to do and what I need to do after that. I’ve lost all focus before I know it, and my mind is halfway down the street. I’m hopeful that a better understanding of where I lose focus and what I find challenging to recover from will improve my overall mindfulness.

Mindfulness Journal - April 7, 2021 - Day 9 of 365 Stuggling to find consistency in my morning routine. Today was disrupted by some overnight work requirements and lack of proper sleep. While I was able to get my meditation in it felt rushed and not very helpful. Morning is key.

Mindfulness Journal - April 6, 2021 - Day 8 of 365 I had a very good meditation session today, though it was mid-day rather than early this morning. I’m finding that I am getting better at not only letting go of thoughts as I’m meditating, but also better at refocusing once my mind wanders off. The time goes by so fast. I am enjoying this process.

Mindfulness Journal - April 5, 2021 - Day 7 of 365 Today’s meditation was an exercise focusing on my mood or the emotional quality of my mind. The truth is that often we are not aware of how we feel because we are so busy doing things or thinking about various things. We miss identifying the very emotions we are feeling because of the busyness of our minds.

I think I often intentionally miss the emotions I am feeling intentionally. If I don’t acknowledge that I’m angry, I don’t have to deal with the anger. During this short meditation, I realized that I am mad a lot of the time, and I rarely deal with that anger. Anger comes at me in waves, and I usually try to ignore it or push it aside or carry on as best I can - but I never deal with it. I’m not sure how to “fix” this problem or if I can, but I hope that identifying it will help me better deal with it more readily.