Aaron Engelsrud

Today started with a busy morning, so I shifted my meditation to this afternoon. In reality, this proved to work very well, and I was able to focus. However, I was exhausted today - the combination of lifting, a HIIT workout, and a busy workday wore me out quickly. Interestingly, today’s meditation focused on getting the mind and the body into the same place. A place where both the body and mind are alert and aware but relaxed and at ease. This is not an easy combination.

I was able to follow through on my commitment to meditate first thing in the morning today. The house was quiet, and it was an excellent, peaceful, calming session. Today’s session focused on a technique to ‘brighten’ things up during times you may feel sleepy or if you fall asleep regularly while meditating. The funny thing is, regardless of how tired I am, I rarely have any issues staying awake during meditation.

Being happy with who you are is no small task. It seems that we are forever working to improve ourselves, get in better shape, get more intelligent, or lose some weight. We are very rarely content with who we are. Mindfulness wants you to find happiness and contentment not with who you want to be but with who you are today. As a man constantly looking for self-improvement, I find that concept hard to accept. I came into this practice with the idea that it was somehow going to make me better or more able to deal with stress. In reality, I need to be happy with who I am to improve and find my true self. I can only do this by letting go of the expectations I have and accepting what is.

I’ll be honest; I’m struggling to make mindfulness the priority that it needs to be. While I am continuing to get time each day to focus on meditation, it’s often last-minute or as I get time. This is not how I want this to be, nor was is it my intention when I started working on this practice. Given this, I need to make a change. I want this to be a priority and a part of my day that I look forward to, get up early for, and something in which I find value. I believe that morning is the best time for me to find the quiet I need to be successful, and therefore I need to find a way to ensure that I get up and be present.

Moving from meditation and mindfulness being just another task that needs to be completed to an opportunity for peace and clarity can be a shift in mindset that makes the practice much better. Learning to appreciate the time you can spend in meditation, allowing thoughts to come and go, and finding the blue sky beyond the clouds is an essential part of the journey. I am working to both find the time to complete the task and appreciate the time I have when I have it.

Taking the time to learn and practice mindfulness is teaching me so much about myself. I’m learning how impatient I’ve been in my life, how little attention I pay to the essential things in life, and how much attention I pay to inconsequential things. Even though I get out of bed every morning and start my day, I spend much of the day asleep, unaware of what I am doing or why I am doing it. Mindfulness helps you live each day as if you are awake for it rather than sleeping through it. You can focus on the moment at hand rather than all of the moments to come.

“Only that day dawns to which we are awake.” - Henry David Thoreau

How many times have you missed a crucial moment unintentionally? For example, you took the time to go to your son’s baseball game but then failed to see his great defensive play at first base because your attention was on your phone or in a book or talking to another parent. If you are anything like me, this happens far too often. It’s innocent and not intentional, but the fact remains that you missed an opportunity to share in the excitement because you were not present in the moment. Mindfulness helps bring you back to the present and stay there, focused on what you are doing, not everything else. Being present makes your moments more meaningful and your presence more powerful.