Aaron Engelsrud

Aaron Engelsrud

Mindfulness Journal - April 28, 2021 - Day 30 of 365 Today’s meditation was fascinating in that I was very aware that I was feeling anger and anxiety, but I was unsure why. When I have anxiety, it washes over me in waves and builds, wave-upon-wave, until I can feel it crashing down over me. It’s suffocating and uncomfortable. I haven’t yet figured out how to let this cloud of anxiety and anger pass. I can’t see the blue sky when this wave hits.

I was listening to an audiobook today, and the author said something that I think is related to my troubles today. He stated that he finds most troubling two types of anxiety: worry, anxiety about the future, and regret, anxiety about the past. These are the things I most frequently find myself getting anxious about - the future and the past. Unfortunately, these anxieties prohibit me from focusing on the one thing I can control and shape, the present.